Guess you're wondering why I wasnt at the Australasias.... :(

Well well well.... What has the cat dragged us in? A Figure competitor with a vision, a game plan, a goal and left feeling like a failure... Thats right, thats how I feel. How can such a positive, self motivated, goal driven person feel like a failure.... Believe it or not, it happens to us too. Thats why I have actually planned this time to talk about the way I feel and get it off my chest, cos there is soo many of you asking me what happened to me and why wasnt I on stage. The story goes like this.
Unhappily married, was once in love, but grew apart and had different visions for the future... so different that we couldnt even compromise. So we were seperated and lived our lives. I chose the Figure life... Being such a strong person, having the, I can do anything attitude, I though contest prep was a piece of cake. Im a mother of twins, had my pt business, built my nutrition website, was studying by business degree, come on, contest prep was easy...
Yeah right... Little did I know my mindset had to be clear and focused. When the tough started happening, the emotion started building and being a female so did the emotional eating... It was so hard. My training was perfect, that was the time I was releasing the stress. I could do the 5 am track workout, sprints, stairs, cardio etc and had the day sorted with my meals, weights done by lunch, 2nd cardio session at night etc and the everyday routine but came the weekend, that was an emotional crisis for me.
Cut a long story short, I couldnt handle the weekends. I would eat my breakfast and because I ate some peanut butter I would starve myself for the rest of the day cos I felt guilty building up to hungry appetite and eating extra calories by dinner time... This happened for 4 weeks... That was it... I decided I couldnt live like this. I was building up to an eating disorder, something I never had. Just cos I was unhappy.... Within 1 month, I decided to sell my house, sell my car, close my pt business, pack my stuff, get my kids, drop my dream of competing at the Australasias and start a new life overseas....Alone to follow my dream of being a figure athlete...
Ya reckon you can do that? I tell ya it takes guts, but mind you I was living overseas for 5 years before hand so I new where I was going. I had family.
So thats why I wasnt on stage, but mind you it doesnt finish there. I found out that the their was going to be the Cypriot Grand Prix on April 17th so I thought, Ill go to Cyprus and prep for that show... If I was good enough and placed I would've represented Cyprus at the European Cup in May... Now tell me thats not something to aim for. I was so excited, met the right people to help me in the industry and had the best help here. Unfortunately, it started with the cold that lasted a lifetime, had a root canal done (and I had just fixed my teeth before I came), gained 8kg water retention, the change of weather and the long hours travelling and the stress I had accumulated from before didnt let me compete at that show either. One dad thing after the other. 3 weeks out I was admitted in hospital and was in there for 10 days with Glandular Fever....wtf... you get this virus when your a student not 30... They released me the day of the Cypriot Bodybuilding Show and lucky enough I managed to go and have a look. Not the same as the Australian shows but something that can be built on.. Nevertheless, atleast there are comps here and its a recognised sport... Yeah amazing!
I felt like shit when I was watching that show. I failed to complete the Australasians, failed to complete the Cypriot Grand Prix and even failed to complete The Olympus Grand Prix in Thessaloniki in May.... My immune system beat me, it put me 10 steps behind to where I even started. Im feeling like shit cos Im still in bed trying to recover, I needed another 6 weeks after being released so the fevers stop and training can start slowly...
Everybody tells me to rest up and Ill come in stronger.... Well put yourself in my shoes... Im a fitness professional, I know I need to recover but Im a competitive athlete, tell an athlete to rest on their prime.... Aaaarrrrrgggghhhhhh!!!!!! Thats how I feel.
I learnt my lesson, never cut your dreams in half. No matter who or what comes in your way, when you have a goal you remain focused and complete you goal. Blocks and barriers are meant to happen on the way of accomplishment... I learnt it the hard way... Now I found the inner strength inside of me and Ive decided to change cities... Once an Australian, always an Australian, need my beach surroundings... New life, new people, new home, new job, new friends, just me and my girls.... There will be another comp for me, and I will come in my best shape ever... I know that, I just have to set my priorities straight now, so everything else just rolls into place.... Hmmm that feels better, so thats why I wasnt at the Australasians friends and the girls that were there may have been happy I didnt show up, it looked like a good lineup and congratulations to all of them cos they're all champions in my eyes....
Set your goals, focus, battle and accomplish..... Never give up!!!
Train hard, eat clean and stay sexy!!! Froso